Cats Like Riceballs!
by EricaTrueXO
Summary: A Fruits Basket story where Kyo begins dating Tohru! (Even though I love Kyo so much and want him for myself-ahem...) Let's see how the others take the news... Like Kagura and Yuki...hahaha! Rated M just in case...
1. Kyo's Mad At Me

Tohru: Hello. My name is Tohru Honda. I used to live in a tent…Wait, maybe I shouldn't start off like that. Hello again! I-wait, I really shouldn't say again, because I was trying to start over so it was like I never said the first line. But I really did say the first line so I guess I should say, "Hello again" instead of just, "Hello." Um, I don't know. What do you think, Kyo?

(Tohru looks at Kyo who sits across from her with his elbow on the table in front of him and his chin in his palm. He looks agitated.)

Kyo: I think you should hurry up with this damn introduction.

Tohru: Hm…what about you, Shigure?

(Tohru turns to look at Shigure who sits to the right of Kyo)

Shigure: Are you recording this?

(Shigure is looking right at the camera…)

Tohru: Oh, actually I am. How'd you know?

Kyo: There's a camcorder on the freakin' table!

Tohru: Yeah, I put it there. I'm going to send this tape to my uncle so he can know how things are going. I'm really enjoying my time here at the Sohma house. It's been fun.

Yuki: You said, "It's been fun". I hope that doesn't mean you plan on leaving us.

(Yuki is sitting to the left of Kyo…the far left…He's staring at Tohru worriedly)

Kyo: You're leaving?! Again?!

(Kyo stands up and bangs his fists on the table to make an impression)

Tohru: Oh, of course not! I could never leave you guys!

Yuki: Calm down, you stupid cat. And take a seat before you break the table.

Kyo: Shut up, ya damn rat! You should be more worried about me breaking your face!

Yuki: As if that could ever happen.

Kyo: Oh yeah? You don't want to test it today! I've been training since the last time!

Yuki: What a shame. Because I know you still can't win.

Tohru: Kyo is glaring fiercely at Yuki. Oh, but don't worry they do this all the time. Usually Kyo starts a fight, but Yuki finishes it.

Kyo: Hey, what the-?!

Tohru: Oh, I'm sorry! Did I say something wrong?!

Kyo: (sighs) No, just forget it… Geez.

Shigure: Let's stop recording for now. I'm so hungry! If only someone would cook for me! I'd be so grateful!

Yuki: You know miss Honda is going to cook.

Tohru: Oh, I should hurry! I am late on preparing lunch! I'm so sorry! Shigure: It's okay. Just don't let it happen again.

Yuki: (hits Shigure in the back of the head)

Shigure: Ow! I was only kidding!

Kyo: Yeah, right. (looks at Tohru) …

Tohru: Is something wrong, Kyo?

Kyo: No! Why would you think that?

Tohru: Well, you just looked at me.

Kyo: So? I can look wherever I want, can't I?

Tohru: Yeah, that's true, but…

Kyo: No, wait…(sighs) That was rude, wasn't it? Sorry. I just noticed you changed your hair a little bit. It's…cute.

Tohru: Wow, you really think so? (smiles) Thanks!

Kyo: …Your welcome. (smiles) … (turns to see Yuki staring at him) Ah, what the hell do you want?! Can I help you, sir?!

Yuki: I was just enjoying this new romantic comedy show you've put on for everyone to see.

Kyo: Wha-?!

Yuki: Romantic, because you're obviously trying to win miss Honda's heart. Comedy, because it's not like she'd ever be interested in someone like you.

Kyo: Excuse me?!

Tohru: Well, actually, I like Kyo a lot. You know, I've always been a fan of the cat from the zodiac and once there was a time that I said if the cat was a real person I'm sure we'd be the best of friends. If we could be friends I'm sure we could be more than that too. I mean, there's a thin line between friendship and romance between a girl and a guy so-

Kyo: You like me like…you'd be my girlfriend?

Yuki: (gasps)

Shigure: Kyo…did I just hear what I think I heard? It must be raining Kyos and Shigures outside! (chuckles)

Kyo: Shut up! I'm talking to Tohru! Not you, so butt out! And don't ever say that dumb phrase again!

Tohru: Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?

Kyo: …Yes…

Tohru: I-…yes. The answer is yes, Kyo. I will be your girlfriend.

Yuki: Miss Honda!

Kyo: Haha! Take that, sissy rat boy! The best way to beat a man is to take the girl he loves as his own! Looks like you need to go lookin' for a new love interest cause Tohru Honda is taken! First I beat you at this! Next, I beat you at life! (fist pumps the air) Whoo!

Tohru: Hold on a second! Yuki likes me too?!

Shigure: Don't forget about me! I've loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you!

Kyo: No, he doesn't like you like that, Tohru. Even if, who cares? He's just a dumb rat.

Yuki: She only said yes, because she pities you. As she's said before; she feels sorry for the foolish cat. Always making dumb mistakes and not thinking before he acts.

Kyo: Oh yeah? Well, I'm dating Tohru!

Yuki: Ugh! Stupid! (walks out the room)

Tohru: Wait, I'm about to make lunch!

Kyo: Aw, are you sad little rat?! Looks like you're the foolish one is this story! (laughs triumphantly)

Tohru: Kyo, I think that's enough! (touches Kyo's chest) Whoops...

(An orange cat sits looking down at the floor…)

Tohru: I'm so sorry! I forgot that you'd turn! I just wanted you to stop picking on Yuki! I thought that-

Kyo: I'm going to my room… (walks out)

Tohru: Kyo?

Shigure: Wonder what caused that sudden mood change. Maybe the smell of your delicious food will make him return?

Tohru: Oh, right! Lunch! (runs to the kitchen)

(After Lunch…)

Tohru: Wait, Kyo's still not here? He hasn't come to eat his lunch…

Shigure: He's in his room sulking for some reason. (shouts) KYO! TOHRU IS DOWN HERE IN NOTHING BUT A BRA AND PANTIES! WHAT A GLORIOUS VIEW! I'M SURE IT ALL FEELS BETTER THAN IT LOOKS!

Tohru: Shigure! D-don't say that! Please!

Shigure: He's not coming. He would've been down here by now. He must really be upset. But why?

Tohru: I should probably bring him his food before it gets cold. (picks up Kyo's food and walks to the stairs)

Yuki: (to self) This is the worst…

Shigure: What's wrong? Being overcome with jealousy?

Yuki: I must admit…I am rather fond of Miss Honda. (gains an angry expression) But I will never be jealous of that stupid cat! I'll have to win Miss Honda over somehow! She deserves way better than that idiot! (stands and walks out the room)

Shigure: (sing-song) I smell drama! (normal) It's time to think, Shigure. How can you make this more stressful for everyone else, but fun for you?

[Kyo's Room]

Tohru: Kyo?

Kyo: (sits on his bed) What?

Tohru: Would you like your lunch?

Kyo: I'm not really hungry…

Tohru: Why?

Kyo: I'm just not.

Tohru: Did I do something wrong?

Kyo: No.

Tohru: (sits next to Kyo) If you want I can feed this to you.

Kyo: Wha-n-no. That's alri-

Tohru: Say ahh! (holds the chopsticks to Kyo's mouth)

Kyo: …Uh…a-ah-ahh?

Tohru: (feeds Kyo some of his lunch) I forgot to ask. Do you like it? I added something special to yours.

Kyo: Really? What did you add? It tastes…good.

Tohru: I cut up some leeks and soaked them in-

Kyo: LEEKS?! (spits) Disgusting! Are you trying to kill me?! I hate that crap!

Tohru: But you couldn't even taste them in-

Kyo: Yes, I did! I just lied to you so you wouldn't cry or something!

Tohru: Then why tell me the truth now?

Kyo: Cause! I felt like it.

Tohru: … (giggles) Okay, Kyo. Well, maybe you'd like some rice balls.

Kyo: That's okay. I don't want to be greedy.

Tohru: Oh, it's alright! I can-

Kyo: Tohru…I really want to be your boyfriend. But I-…I don't think I can make you happy. We can't do anything like other normal couples can.

Tohru: We can find a way to make it work. Anytime I want to hold you-I don't mind snuggling with you as a cat!

Kyo: (slight gasp) …You don't get it.

Tohru: What do you mean?

Kyo: I don't want to talk about this anymore. I should've never brought it up.

Tohru: But Kyo, does this mean you don't want to be my boyfriend after all?

Kyo: That's not what I said. I want to, but-…aw, hell!

Tohru: What? I told you it's okay. Maybe we can figure out a way we can touch each other. You're upsetbecause of the curse, right? We could go ask Akito if there's something we could do. Or maybe-

Kyo: Just get out! I'm sick of this already! I said I was done taking about this so enough!

Tohru: Oh, uh, okay. I'm sorry I said whatever I said to make you mad. I'll leave now. (walks out his room) Oh, man, we haven't been together long and I'm already screwing up-oh boy…

Kyo: Wait, I-…(grunts) Damn!

[Downstairs]

Yuki: Miss Honda, where are you going?

Tohru: Um…well I don't really know yet, but I've made Kyo angry so I'm going to leave like he told me.

Shigure: When will you be back?

Tohru: I'm not really sure yet… See you. (exits)

Yuki: (glares at Kyo when he enters the room) What did you say to her?

Kyo: Shut up, ya damn rat. (looks down) I don't have to answer to you.

Shigure: Does this have something to do with your sex life? I've written just the book for you. Let me go get it.

Kyo: I don't want to read that smut! And we don't have a sex life! We couldn't have one if we wanted. We couldn't have…anything…

Shigure: Of course you could! There's a thing called male enhancement-

Kyo: Shut the hell up! You know damn well that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about!

Shigure: (chuckles) You need to learn how to take a joke.

Kyo: Nothing about this situation is funny!

Shigure: (sighs) Even if you can't make physical contact with Tohru, you can still enjoy your time together. And you never know…there could be a solution to this curse problem we have. We just need to find it.

Kyo: You said "could". So there could also not be one.

Shigure: But there probably is.

Yuki: Why do you say that?

Shigure: I don't know… I just really believe there's a way to reverse the curse.

Kyo: Yeah, well, some of us know better.

Shigure: You've got to have more faith.

Kyo: Excuse me for living in reality.

Yuki: You're not going to go after Tohru?

Kyo: What do you mean, "go after"?

Yuki: You told her to, "Get out".

Kyo: I meant my room; not the house! Aw, man… I really have to apologize now… But where could she have gone?

Yuki: Perhaps she's with Uo or Hana.

Shigure: I don't know where else she'd go.

Kyo: Then I'll check with them first! (runs to the door)

Yuki: Do you even know where they live?

Kyo: Uhhhh-

Yuki: That means, "No".

Kyo: Well, where do they live then?!

Yuki: How should I know? And it's not like I'd tell you even if I knew.

Kyo: Wha-?!

Yuki: Stupid cat. Truly foolish, indeed.

Kyo: What'd you say, you sissy little rat boy?! I'll make you sorry you ever met me!

Yuki: It's far too late for that.

Kyo: What'd you say to me?! Speak up! I can't hear you when you whisper all the time!

Yuki: I wish I couldn't hear you, but you scream all the time. It's hard to even think with all the noise.

Kyo: I guess I should start lowering my voice! Maybe you'll think the next time before you say something stupid like this again and I won't have to kick your ass, ya damn rat!

Yuki: Shouldn't you be looking for Tohru instead of screaming foolishly at me?

Kyo: Nice try, but you're not getting outta this one, ya pansy!

(Kyo attempts to punch Yuki, but he dodges and kicks Kyo into a table)

Shigure: Let's not break anything, you two.

Yuki: Stupid cat. I'm going to look for miss Honda. (walks out)

Kyo: You're not finding her before I do! The race is on! (runs out)

Shigure: It's about time! I thought they'd never leave. (picks up the phone and dials a number) Hey, Aya, it's me! The house is empty so you can bring all the girls over! It's going to be a fun afternoon!

(Outside Tohru is walking down a path and comes across a house…)

Tohru: Oh, what's this? I wonder who lives there. Now, that I think about it I've walked down this path many times before and I've never seen the person that lives there. Maybe I should say hello. (knocks on the door)

Innocent Young Lady's Voice: Yes? Who is it? I'm coming. Just a moment.

Tohru: Oh, wow, she sounds really nice. (knocks on the door)

Innocent Young Lady's Voice: I'm coming. One moment, please.

Tohru: I don't know why, but she kind of sounds familiar. Do I know this girl? Hey-(knocks again)

Before I could finish speaking the door flew open and a cute young girl in a green dress with a cat pack on her back swung a bat at my face. It hurt really bad! That's when I realized I did know this girl. It was Kagura Sohma!

Kagura: I said I was coming, dammit! You didn't have to knock on the door so much! I was moving as fast as I could! What was I supposed to do?! Put on big red shoes and paint myself blue?! What do you want from me!?

Tohru: Ouch…! (rubs her face) That bat is really hard… I didn't mean to knock so much I just-

Kagura: Tohru? When did you get here? What happened to your face?! Come in! I'll get the first aid kit!

(A little later after Tohru comes inside…)

Kagura: Oh yeah, that's right… (looking into an empty first aid kit) I used the last of everything when Ritsu came by the other day…

Tohru: You…hurt Ritsu?

Kagura: Not on purpose! I swear it wasn't! You have to believe me! I thought he was trying to peep at me in the shower, but it turned out he was only walking by and I had left the door open! I shouldn't have invited him in when I hadn't taken my shower yet! I know that now! And I'm sorry! I apologized to him and he said it was okay! He really did! He said it was okay so can we all just forget about it?! Tell me you won't tell Kyo! I don't want him to think I was cheating on him because I wasn't! I would never-

Tohru: Okay okay! I understand! I didn't need to know what happened! I was just-

Kagura: You believe I'm sorry, don't you?! Because I really really am! It was an honest mistake that any girl could make! I'm sure Shigure, Yuki, or even Kyo has walked in on you in the shower or during a bath! (gasps) …

Tohru: Umm-

Kagura: Has Kyo seen you naked?! He has, hasn't he? It's okay! You can tell me! I won't get mad! I just want to know! I need to know so please tell me! Tell me, won't you?! TELL ME!

Tohru: Relax, Kagura! He hasn't seen me naked! Well, at least I don't think he's seen me naked. If he has he hasn't said anything to me about it. Would he say something if he saw me? I'd imagine it'd be a pretty awkward conversation and I'm not sure how I would react. I mean especially since I know I don't have the best body. It's not like I have the worst body or even a bad body-at least not in my opinion. Kyo might think so though. I hope he doesn't. That'd make me…well kind of sad. I mean only because Kyo an I have a special friendship or at least I think we have a special-

Kagura: What are you doing walking out here alone?

Tohru: Oh! Well, see, Kyo kind of told me to get out and so I left. I made him angry so I was going to give him time to calm down. I already apologized, but I guess I should apologize again later just to make sure he's okay.

Kagura: Would you like to spend the night with me?

Tohru: Oh, that sounds wonderful! I'd love to!

Kagura: Great!

Tohru: Let me just call Shigure to let him know what I'm doing.

(A short while later…)

Kagura: There's only one bedroom. You can sleep in there.

Tohru: Wait, you only have one bedroom in your house? Do you live alone?

Kagura: This isn't my house. It's my secret hideout. I come here to watch Kyo.

Tohru: To watch him? How do you do that from here? Wait, "secret hideout"? You're out in the open.

Kagura: (sits at a computer and types something) Watch this.

Computer: Say a command.

Kagura: FIND KYO, DAMMIT!

Tohru: Was the expletive necessary? Or the screaming, period?

Kagura: I didn't scream.

Computer: Kyo Sakigami. 2 searches. Is this who you wish to locate?

Tohru: Who? And you searched for him twice so you-

Kagura: NO! I WANT MY FUTURE HUBBY!

Computer: Kyo Sohma. 999,999 searches. Is this who you wish to locate?

Kagura: YES!

(A box appears on the screen that shows Kyo running down a street…)

Tohru: So you…watch Kyo from this computer?

Kagura: Yes. I usually only use this for when I want his location though. I don't watch him all day. Then I'd seem like some freak stalker and I know if Kyo ever found out he'd be mad at me. You won't tell him, will you?

Tohru: Of course not. Your secret is safe with me, Kagura.

Kagura: Thank you. I'd make you dinner, but the last time I put a pot on the stove; I burned a whole house down.

Tohru: What?! How did you manage to do that?!

Kagura: I had the stove on high and I was keeping a close eye on it, but then I saw Kyo. Out the corner of my eye. He was outside my window. He seemed afraid for some reason. He was about to run so I had to console him. I went out to display my love and soon enough Kyo said he smelt something burning and when I turned around the house was covered in flames!

Tohru: That's so sad.

Kagura: No, it isn't! It's okay! I have another home! Not this one, but my real home! So don't worry about me, okay?

Tohru: Okay. I'd be happy to do the cooking.

Kagura: Thank you so much Tohru! I'll repay you in some way! I know! You're invited to me and Kyo's wedding!

Tohru: Th-thanks…

I'm not so sure I should ever tell Kagura that Kyo asked me to be his girlfriend. Then again I don't even know if he still wants to be… After dinner Kagura told me stories of her and Kyo when they were children until she fell asleep. She really does seem to care for Kyo. I almost feel bad for liking him the way I do.

(Yuki stands with Uo and Hana in front of a store…)

Uo: Sorry, I haven't seen her today.

Hana: Is Tohru alright?

Yuki: Yes, the stupid cat-I mean Kyo-got mad at her and told her to get out.

Uo: What? Orange top? Geez…him and his temper…

Hana: We'll help you look for Tohru.

Yuki: Thank you.

Uo: She's our friend. We have to help.

(Kyo knocks on a door some distance away…)

Tohru's Grandfather: (opens the door) Yes?

Kyo: Is Tohru here?

Tohru's Grandfather: Sorry, I haven't seen her. Is everything-

Kyo: (runs) Dammit!

(Kyo runs to the hospital…)

Woman: Sorry, she's off to-

Kyo: Damn! (runs) Where are you, Tohru?! You stupid girl! Why would I ask you to be my girlfriend and then tell you to get out the house?! UGH!


	2. Kagora the Matchmaker

(Tohru sits up in a bed and stretches…)

Tohru: What a good night's sleep! I should make some breakfast for Kagura. She's been such a good host to me. It's only right. (makes her way to the kitchen and takes a bowl from a cabinet)

Kagura: (peeks in the kitchen)What are you doing?

Tohru: (jumps, gasps, and turns to see Kagura) Oh, Kagura, it's just you. You scared me. I was-

Kagura: Is that my bowl? It looks like my bowl. I hope that's not my bowl.

Tohru: Uh, I'm sorry I-

Kagura: It is my bowl, isn't it?! Give it here! Please! I said give it!

(Tohru hands Kagura the bowl and she snatches it away from her)

Kagura: Kyo gave me this bowl. You didn't know that, did you?

Tohru: Uh, no, I didn't know tha-

Kagura: Kyo gave me a lot of things before you two got together. Did he ever tell you about the time he asked me to marry him?

Tohru; I-I think Kyo mentioned it once-

Kagura: So he talks about me?! Does he tell you he loves me, because he does. And I love him back just more than he does me. But the love he has for me is way greater than the love he has for you. (moves closer to her face) I'm sorry, but it's destiny! I am the future Mrs. Kyo Sohma!

Tohru: Hey, how'd you know we were dating? You didn't know yesterday and you didn't leave the house. I don't think… But he said something to me before I left. He said he'd like to date me, but he's afraid he can't keep me happy-what with the curse and all. Well, that's basically what he said. I told him we could find a way to make it work, but he-

Kagura: That's my Kyo!

Tohru: Huh? What do you mean?

Kagura: Don't you get it? He was lying to you! He only told you that he'd date you to spare your feelings! He's nice like that! But he had to come up with an excuse, because in reality he knows we were meant to be! Oh, Kyo! Your kindness knows no limit!

Tohru: Oh, I don't know. He really seemed like he meant it-

Kagura: I can see our bright future so well now I think I need to protect my eyes! (puts on sunglasses) That's so much better!

Tohru: Um, Kagura-

Kagura: "I DO, KYO SOHMA! I DO!" (kisses a picture of a seemingly angry orange cat) Mwah!

Tohru: Kagura!

Kagura: Huh? Oh, how insensitive of me! Are you angry at me? Do you want to scream? Do you hate me now?

Tohru: No, I-

Kagura: Oh, thank goodness! I had hoped we could still be friends. I'm so sorry Kyo doesn't love you, but you'll find someone else. I promise. I'll even help you find someone else. Come on! Let's go! (runs outside)

Tohru: Oh, uh, wait for me!

I figured it'd be best if I just went along with Kagura. I wouldn't want to make her angry. She took me to some store I'd never heard of which is really strange, because it had a ton of customers. Kagura had put on gloves and a large coat, but it was a really hot day so I didn't quite understand why she did it.

Tohru: It's so hot. Why would you put on a big coat like that?

Kagura: It's just a precaution. Do I look silly?

Tohru: Uh, no, I was just saying that I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable or pass out or anything due to the heat I mean it's really hot and that's a big coat and with the addition of the gloves I figured-

Kagura: Look over there, Tohru.

Tohru: What?

I looked to the area Kagura was referring to and there appeared to be a boy staring in my direction. He started to walk over as soon as I noticed him.

Kagura: (whispers) Say hello.

Tohru: (smiles) Um, hello! I'm Tohru Honda!

Boy: (picks up toilet paper on the shelf behind Tohru) Great, 4-ply.

Kagura: How dare you ignore her! Say hello, dammit! (grabs the boy and throws him into the shelf knocking it over and making a huge mess)

Tohru: You didn't change…could it be because you're wearing those gloves? That's not what you meant by precaution, is it-

Kagura: I have no idea. Let's move on. Hey, you! (points at a random boy) Come kiss Tohru!

Boy 2: I would, but-(sneezes) I have a cold-

Kagura: Don't you dare make excuses! It's hot outside so how could you catch a cold?! COME KISS HER NOW OR DIE!

Boy 2: B-but I-

Kagura: KISS HER, DAMN YOU! (punches him in the face repeatedly then slams him on the floor)

Tohru: K-Kagura, I think you should calm down! People are starting to look over and I think someone just went to get security-

Kagura: OH NO! (kneels by Boy 2) What happened to this poor boy?! Are you alright?! Who would do such a thing to such an unimportant character?! SECURITY! Come quick!

Tohru: I'm not sure you should be calling them! I think we should go!

Before I knew it we were surrounded by security!

Security: Miss, step away from the boy.

Kagura: Of course.

As Kagura was moving someone in security grabbed her hand and she snatched away from them so hard her glove came off! He tried to grab her again and…

Kagura: (now a small boar-she hangs by a hoof in a man's fist) …

It was silent for a few moments. I was scared memories would have to be erased! But then somehow…

Kagura: (shakes in frustration and swings up to kick the man in the face; kicks several times in the air and then gives a him final kick to the ground) Don't touch me! Who's next?!

The rest of security ran, but she was somehow able to catch them all and…knock them out. Everyone in the store that saw just thought they were seeing things or that there was a loose animal in the store, but not many even saw her. And security didn't remember anything when they woke up. Isn't that fantastic? I had put on her glove so she wouldn't lose it. We looked strange. I had the left glove and she had the right. I completely forgot I had in on the whole time though. After that, we went to get pizza together.

Kagura: I'm sorry I couldn't find anyone for you at the store. But I won't stop looking!

Tohru: It's really okay, Kagura! I'm fine with being single or maybe someone will come along-I don't know! (nervous giggle)

Kagura: No girl is ever okay single! We all want someone to snuggle up to at night! (gasps) I know the perfect guy for you! Haru!

Tohru: Haru? Why would you say that?

Kagura: Because he just walked in the door! (points at Hatsuharu who is entering the pizzeria) Haru! Come over here, won't you?!

Tohru: But didn't he say he was in love with Yuki? I don't want to-

Kagura: You still tried for Kyo even though he said he was in love with me!

Tohru: What? No I-I didn't even-he never even said-

Kagura: Don't lie! Stop lying! You said yourself he said we were getting married! That means we're engaged and we're engaged because we love each other and since we love each other he loves me and I love him! There's no one way relationships around here!

Tohru: Okay!

Haru: Hey, Tohru.

Tohru: Hi, Hatsuharu! Is Momiji with you?

Haru: Yeah, he ran in before me to the restroom. (sits down next to Tohru) What are you two doing here?

Tohru: Kagura's trying to hook me up with someone. But I told her I didn't need her to!

Haru: I thought you were dating the cat.

Kagura: Why would you think that?! Who told you that?! Please don't tell me it was Kyo!

Haru: No, Shigure told me. He said Kyo got upset that he couldn't get freaky with Tohru so he said they weren't dating, but they might as well be.

Kagura: That's not true! Tell Shigure he's wrong! He's really wrong! Kyo wants to have sex with me, but I won't let him until after we get married so if you give it up it means you're easy and he's only using you until after the wedding! I'm sorry, but you'd be really stupid to do that!

Tohru: I don't think Kyo would do something like that.

Kagura: How much do you know about Kyo, because I know TONS of things!

Tohru: I think I know a good amount.

Kagura: He likes to sleep to the right on his bed!

Tohru: He has a hard time expressing his feelings.

Kagura: He's the cat of the zodiac!

Tohru: He really hates leeks.

Kagura: He's in love with me!

Tohru: He wants to beat Yuki so bad and-

Kagura: Last week when he came home from school he took the alternate route in order to avoid confrontation with me! It takes him 7 minutes longer to get home that way!

Haru: Uh-

Momiju: Tohru! You're here! You're here! Yay! Aww, I want to sit by Tohru! Can you sit by Kagura, Haru? PLEASE?!

Haru: No. (looks at Tohru) I like being this close to Tohru.

Momiji: WAAAAAHHHHH! I WANT TO SIT BY TOHRU! WAAAAHHH-

Haru: (sighs) …No.

Momiji: HARUUUU!

Kagura: You can sit by me, Momiji. I don't mind.

Momiji: I want to sit by Tohru-

Kagura: You will sit by me NOW!

Momiji: WAAAHHH! KAGURA'S YELLING AT MEEEEE!

Tohru: Kagura, please! Momiji, it's okay-

Kagura: TAKE A SEAT! (grabs Momiji and puts him in a headlock) I said SIT! SIT! SIT, DAMN YOU!

Momiji: AAAAHHHH! TOHRU, HELP!

Tohru: AH! Kagura, stop!

Haru: ...! I'm about sick of this. (stands)

Tohru: H-Haru?

Haru: Momiji. Shut your damn mouth! No one wants to hear you whine all the time! Do us all a favor and grow up! Get some hair on your balls! Stop acting like such a crybaby!

Tohru: Hair on his…balls?

Haru: And you, Kagura! You're just too freakin' loud! Someone needs to muzzle you and teach you obedience! You being so rough makes me question whether you're really a girl or not! Maybe you do need some sex! It might loosen you up! Too bad Kyo doesn't want you! Get over yourself! Know what? Both of you can just kiss my-

Kagura: (grabs Haru and begins hitting him against the window) How dare you disrespect me! I'LL DESTROY YOU!

Momiji: (continues whining) He called me a baby! WAAAHHH!

If anything I was learning new things. I mean, I thought Kagura only attacked Kyo, but apparently that wasn't true. I guess she really is just showing her love. But then why did she attack those people she didn't know at the store? Maybe she did know them and I just didn't know. I don't know… While they were fighting and Momiji was crying I decided to go outside to get a breath of fresh air. And I saw Kyo.

Tohru: Kyo? What are you doing out here?

Kyo: I want you to come back home. I-…I miss you, okay?

Tohru: You do?

Kyo: I just said it, didn't I? (sighs) Look, I just-…I'm sorry I yelled at you and told you I wanted you to leave. I didn't mean it. And when I told you to go I didn't mean I wanted you out the house. I was angry. And not at you. Myself because-…because-…well, Because I-

Tohru: You want to get freaky, but you know you can't touch me?

Kyo: W-w-wha-?! What did you say?!

Tohru: Haru had said that Shigure told him you were upset, because you couldn't get freaky with me like you wanted. That's why you said we weren't dating.

Kyo: What the hell?! That's not true! N-not that I don't wanna-I mean wait, no! What I mean to say is that-…aw, screw it. Nevermind. Just come back home, okay?

Tohru: Okay! But so you know, I didn't need an apology. I shouldn't have kept talking like I always do. But I was going back home anyway. I only stayed at Kagura's place, because she asked me to. I called Shigure to let him know. I wonder why he didn't tell you.

Kyo: What the-you did?!

[FLASHBACK TO YESTERDAY NIGHT]

Shigure: Oh, is that so? You'll be staying with Kagura? I see. I'll make sure to tell Yuki and Kyo! Don't you worry! (hangs up as Yuki walks in)

Yuki: Who were you speaking to?

Shigure: Tohru. She says she's spending the night at Kagura's.

Yuki: Is she angry with Kyo?

Shigure: No, not at all. But let's keep all this a secret from him.

Yuki: Why?

Shigure: Because it'll be funny! (laughs)

Yuki: (sighs as Kyo walks in) Whatever.

Kyo: What's so funny?

Shigure: Knock knock!

Kyo: Seriously?

Shigure: Who's at your door, Kyo? Knock knock! Better answer! It might be Tohru!

Kyo: What?! Shut up! Fine, I'll play this stupid game! Who's there?!

Shigure: (chuckles) Not Tohru!

Kyo: Wha-?! You just said it might be now it's not?! Don't tell dumb jokes like that! It's not funny!

Shigure: Says you. I found it rather amusing.

Kyo: I'm goin' back to my room. (walks out)

Yuki: You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

Shigure: True.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

Kyo: I'm gonna kill him!

Tohru: Oh, no, please don't. I'm sure he just forgot.

Kyo: Forgot, my ass! Wait a second…did you say you stayed with Kagura? She's not around, is she?!

Tohru: Actually, she's in the pizza shop.

Kyo: Let's go before he comes! (holds out a hand)

Tohru: But what about the curse?

Kyo: You're wearing that glove so it's alright.

Tohru: (looks at the glove on her left hand) Oh, right! You really want to…hold my hand?

Kyo: Stop thinking so hard about it! Either take my hand or don't! I don't care! All I know is we need to-

Tohru: (grabs Kyo's hand) …

Kyo: …Uh…okay then…let's go home.

(Kagura stares from the doorway of the pizzeria…)

Kagura: KYO! Is that you, my darling!? I've been so alone! You haven't called me or sent an email. I haven't gotten a postcard or a post on my wall… Hm? (looks directly at Tohru's hand in Kyo's) …

Kyo: (lets go of Tohru's hand and runs) Oh no!

Tohru: W-wait, Kyo!

Kagura: (runs after Kyo) GET BACK HERE YOU TWO-TIMING PUNK! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

I don't really know what to say. I mean I know Kyo likes me. He said so. But can we date when we can't do a lot of the things normal couples do? Maybe…there's a way to negate the curse? I should ask Shigure or…someone like Hatori. He'd probably know.

[The Sohma House]

Kyo: Shigure!

Yuki: Shigure went to the main house to speak with Akito.

Tohru: Why?

Yuki: I'm not sure. But welcome back, Miss Honda.

Tohru: Thanks, Yuki! (smiles)

Kyo: Stop talking to that damn Yuki! Come with me.

Tohru: Oh, okay…

(Tohru follows Kyo…)

Yuki: I hate him… (turns to see Kagura staring in through the window) Ah! Kagura?

[Outside]

Yuki: So you're saying you have a plan, but you need my help?

Kagura: Would you be willing to assist me in retrieving my beloved Kyo?

Yuki: …You have a deal. Let's work together to break them apart!


	3. Silly Kyo! We CAN Hold Hands!

[Kyo's Room]

Tohru: So what's up?

Kyo: (sighs) Uh…nothing. I just wanted to spend some time with you is all.

Tohru: Hey, I just thought about something…

Kyo: What?

Tohru: I didn't need that glove to hold your hand. Don't you remember that time you came to get me from my grandfather's house? Or the time-

Kyo: (fake coughs) I don't know what you're talking about.

Tohru: Momiji grabs my hand all the time!

Kyo: Yeah, but Momiji's not in his right mind so he doesn't count!

Tohru: But I thought the curse was based on gender; not mind state.

Kyo: Stop thinkin' about it!

Tohru: Kyo…do you…not want to touch me?

Kyo: …N-no! That's not it! I'm not the one who said we couldn't hold hands! You were! I just went along with it!

Tohru: But why would you do that?

Kyo: Cause. (looks down) When I hold your hand…it makes me happy. And I want to…do something I know I can't do. That's why, okay?

Tohru: What do you mean, "something"? Ohhh…Well, maybe-… (blushes) Maybe if you hold your body in the air above me and thrust it into me it won't make you-

Kyo: Wha-what the hell are you talkin' about?!

Tohru: Weren't you talking about sex?

Kyo: Tohru!

Shigure: (standing at the door he laughs)

Kyo: Why are you here?! And what's so funny?!

Shigure: I was just making sure you two lovebirds were alright.

Tohru: Yeah, we're fine. I was just wondering why Kyo didn't want to hold my hand and it turned out he wants to, but when he does he gets happy and it makes him want to do something else that I'm not quite sure of yet. I thought it was S-E-X, but after seeing his reaction-I don't know. It could be-

Shigure: Let me stop you there, Tohru. It seems me and Kyo need to have a little talk.

Kyo: What?

Shigure: That happy feeling you get when Tohru takes your hand… It's called being horny! So as I've been saying you're upset, because you want to get freaky with Tohru! Just accept it already!

Kyo: You stinkin' perv! You probably wish so you could listen in or something!

Shigure: Now, why would I do that? I imagine Tohru is clean and you-of course you are too, so why would I want to listen to you have sex? Two virgins isn't much fun if you ask me.

Kyo: Shut up! Get out and I mean the house!

Shigure: (chuckles) Oh, before I go. You have a visitor, Tohru. She should be up here any second. (walks away)

Tohru: Who could that be? Maybe Uo or Hana…or I know, I just spoke with Kagura not too long ago!

Kyo: Ah, I hope not! I'd rather the Yankee come.

Tohru: Could it be my aunt or cousin-

Kyo: Yeah right. Like they'd come see you.

Tohru: I guess I'll find out in a little while. Anyway, so since we can hold hands… (grabs Kyo's hand)

Kyo: Hey! (blushes)

Shigure's Voice: YOU CAN KISS TOO! JUST DON'T TRY TO MAKE A BABY!

Kyo: HEY, SHUT UP! STAY OUTTA THIS! I-

Tohru: You don't have to kiss me if you don't want to Kyo. I completely understand.

Kyo: Uh, no, I-uh… (leans in to kiss Tohru when…)

Kisa: Sissy! (runs into the room and grabs Tohru's arm)

Tohru: Oh, Kisa! What a surprise! It's nice to see you!

Kisa: (smiles then looks at Kyo's glare) …

Kyo: What? You talk now, right? So what do you gotta say?

Kisa: Are you…trying to get freaky with sissy?

Kyo: WHAT!? Shigure! Come here so I can kick your ass!

(Shigure's laughter echoes throughout the house…)

Tohru: Oh no no no, Kisa! See, me and Kyo were just talking! (nervous giggle)

Kisa: …Okay. Let's go, sissy. I want to go for a walk.

Tohru: Oh, well, alright… Kyo, I-

Kyo: Just go. (sighs) We'll talk later.

Tohru: Okay! Thank you! Alright, Kisa, let's go!

[Outside of Shigure's House]

Yuki: Is it really safe to talk about this right here and now?

Kagura: When we're discussing my Kyo it doesn't matter the time or place!

Yuki: Right…

Hatori: What are you two doing?

(Hatori stands in front of Yuki and Kagura…)

Yuki: Hatori…

Kagura: We're discussing how to break up Tohru and-

Yuki: Shh!

Kagura: Oh, right! I mean, we're just talking.

Hatori: (shakes his head) Don't make too much trouble. By the way, Yuki…I thought you were better than this. (walks inside)

Yuki: (gasps) …

Kagura: What are you saying about me?! Anyway…let's go to my place. I have to pick something up. There's no doubt I'll win Kyo over with it! I won't lose to Tohru!

Tohru: Lose to me at what?

(Kagura and Yuki turn to see Tohru and Kisa hand-in-hand at the door…)

Kagura: Rival! (grabs Yuki's hand and runs) We'll be back! And then Kyo will be mine!

Yuki: Wait!

Tohru: Umm…

(Shigure's scream is heard from inside the house…Hatori walks out)

Hatori: Nothing, but a big baby. Are you ready to go, Kisa?

Kisa: I wanted to walk with sissy!

Hatori: You'll be coming back with me now.

Kisa: But…

Tohru: Maybe she could stay a little while. I think Hatsuharu's around. He can bring her back home when she's ready to go.

Hatori: …Fine then.

Tohru: Is Shigure sick?

Hatori: It was a simple flu shot so he could avoid becoming sick. I hear it's going to be raining a lot these next few days. Stay dry during that time.

Tohru: Okay, thanks! Wait…I was wondering if maybe…you knew of a way to lift the zodiac curse. Or maybe Akito knows?

Hatori: …No. I don't think Akito would know either.

Tohru: I want to ask anyway.

Hatori: That isn't wise. Please don't.

Tohru: But I-

Hatori: I have to go now. Farewell. (walks away)

Tohru: …I wonder why-

Kisa: (tugs at Tohru's shirt) Sissy?

Tohru: Oh, sorry! Let's walk before the rain starts.

Kisa: Okay!

[The rooftop]

Kyo: (watches Tohru walk with Kisa) …Where the hell is Yuki? Man, I can't talk to Tohru, I can't beat that sissy rat boy's face in…what am I supposed to do?

Shigure: Sulking again? …Well, look, I forgot something at the main house. I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?

Kyo: Sure…

Shigure: Will you be alright here by yourself? Do I need to lock the doors when I leave? My number is on the fridge if you get scared.

Kyo: How old do you think I am?!

Shigure: Are you sure you'll be fine here alone though? Really?

Kyo: Yeah…I'm used to this…

Shigure: (sighs) Alright then.

[Nighttime…]

(Kyo is sleeping on the roof…A burglar enters the house and after several seconds there is a large crash that wakes Kyo up-)

Kyo: (slight gasp) What the hell was that? Is Shigure back? (enters the house) Hey! Shigure! Rat boy! Tohru! Is anyone here?

(Faint coughing…)

Kyo: Who's in here?!

(A man in all black runs into Tohru's room and jumps out the window)

Kyo: HEY! You're not gettin' off that easy! (runs to the window and hears something crack; looks down to see a broken picture frame of Tohru's mom) Wha-?! Oh no! (falls to his knees) Tohru's gonna-…She really will hate me now… Dammit! (slams a fist on the floor making a crack)

Uo's Voice: Hey, Orange Top! Is that you I hear up there?!

Kyo: Huh?

(Kyo lets Uo inside and they sit at a table together…)

Uo: Oh, man, Tohru's gonna be heartbroken. But it really isn't your fault, you know. I doubt she'll blame you or anything.

Kyo: But it is my fault. I should've been more alert.

Uo: Come on, don't act like that. I promise you you're over-reacting. You know Tohru. She called me and told me you guys were dating the other day and she sounded so excited. I'm sure she doesn't want your relationship to change because you broke a picture.

Kyo: But it was close to her heart. The last thing she has left of her mother.

Uo: True. Still. Relax. Everything will be fine. Just be honest with her and tell her what happened when she gets back. I know! Let's play a game to lift your spirits! What game am I way better than you at? Oh, that's right. All of 'em! (laughs)

Kyo: What the-!? You are not!

(As the time passes Uo becomes sleepy and falls onto Kyo, who is nodding off himself, making him change; she holds him close to her chest as she sleeps…)

Tohru: Kisa sure kept me out late. It's a good thing we ran into Hatsuharu and he got her to go home. I hope no one is worried about me. (opens the door to see Uo cuddled up with Kyo) …Uh…What…Kyo? Uo? What-…what's going on?

Kyo: (opens his eyes) Ahh! Tohru! It's not what you think!

Uo: What the-?! Damn, Orange Top, you're too loud. (looks at the orange cat in front of her) Where's Orange Top? Hey…Haven't I seen this cat before?

Tohru: What!? N-no, y-y-you haven't! You're mistaken! (picks up Kyo as she forces herself to giggle)

Uo: Tohru, there you are. I was playing a game with Orange Top to lift his spirits and I guess I just fell asleep.

Tohru: Oh…thank goodness-I mean-wait, why would you need to lift his spirits? What's wrong with him?

Uo: It's best if he tells you himself. I'll be going now. Oh, yeah, someone was trying to rob you guys. I kicked his ass for you.

Tohru: Um…Thankyou?

Uo: No problem. See you later. Take care. Tell Orange Top I said to stop bein' a baby. (walks away)

Kyo: Bitch.

Tohru: Kyo!

Kyo: Uh…Tohru…I kind of…well-

Shigure: (sing-song) I'm back! (normal) I hope Kyo didn't do anything stupid and ruin the house AGAIN.

Kyo: Bastard! (jumps out of Tohru's arms and runs upstairs)

Tohru: Wait for me, Kyo!

Shigure: You two sure are up late.

Tohru: Oh, yeah, but we weren't doing anything so don't think that, please! I actually just got back not too long ago. Apparently someone was trying to rob the house while we were gone-

Shigure: What!? No! (runs upstairs) My precious belongings!

Tohru: Huh? What could be so important to send him running like that? (gasps) That reminds me! I've gotta make sure mom is okay!

[Tohru's Room]

Tohru: Mom? Where'd mom go? Mom, are you in here?

Kyo: She's not in here.

Tohru: (turns to see Kyo at the door) Kyo, you changed back quick. What do you mean she's not in here?

Kyo: I-...I chased the robber into your room and he jumped out the window so I was going after him and I stepped on your mother's picture and…I broke it… (shows her the broken picture frame)

Tohru: M-…mom? At least…she's still here. I can see her. And she's still smiling so there's nothing to worry about, right?

Kyo: Are you sad? No, you're angry. It's okay. I understand. I just want you to know I'm sorry.

Tohru: It's okay, Kyo. All I have to do is take the picture out the frame and put it in a new one. But I don't have enough money right now. I get paid next week though. I'm afraid she might get hurt in that time-I mean, no, it's really fine! Don't worry about it, Kyo!

Kyo: You're upset.

Tohru: No, I'm not! Well, at least…I don't blame you, Kyo. I had mom on this nightstand and that means the thief probably knocked her on the floor so it's really their fault. I can't blame you for not having night vison. (smiles) …I'm going to go to bed now if you don't mind.

Kyo: …Okay…Goodnight. (walks out)

Tohru: ... (cries as she tightly hugs the broken frame with her mother's picture inside)

[The Next Morning]

(Yuki walks in followed by Kagura who is wearing a blue dress with her hair styled exactly like Tohru's…)

Yuki: I'm home.

Kagura: I'm here too!

Shigure: Welcome back, Yuki. Hello…Kagura? Um…You should join us for breakfast. Tohru's almost done.

Kagura: I'd love to! I mean, "Um, yes"… (sits down)

Shigure: (stares at Kagura) …Umm…Yuki-

Yuki: (sits down) Don't direct any questions toward me. This was not my idea nor do I support it.

Kagura: Kyo's eating with you, right? Where does he sit?

Shigure: Right where you are now. But-

Kagura: Really?! I'm sitting in Kyo's seat?! That's wonderful!

Kyo: The hell it is! Move! What are you even doing here?!

Kagura: But don't you want me here, Kyo? I just wanted to show you my new look. Don't you like it?

Kyo: You look like Tohru with shorter hair.

Kagura: I can make it longer! (pulls out a wig about the same length as Tohru's hair an styled the same way and puts it on)

Kyo: What the-?! Take that off!

Shigure: If you want to do things like that I only ask that you take it to your room.

Kyo: You know I meant the wig!

Yuki: Where did you even get that?

Kagura: I look just like Tohru. You can't even tell the difference. We look like twins.

Shigure: Hmm…I can tell.

Yuki: Me too.

Kyo: Yeah, so can I.

Shigure: Of course you two can. You've been staring in her eyes since Day 1.

Kyo: I have not!

Yuki: That isn't true!

Shigure: Actually, where have you been, Kyo? I know you were here late yesterday, but this morning you were nowhere to be found.

Kyo: (looks to the side) I had to get away from here. This place is smothering me.

Yuki: Let's talk about people that actually matter in this house. So anyone besides Kyo.

Kyo: You-!

Shigure: Tohru seems rather depressed this morning. She won't say it, of course, but I know something's bothering her.

Yuki: (gives Kyo an offensive stare) What kind of boyfriend are you? You leave your girlfriend all alone and depressed while you go off to the mountains to punch goats?

Kyo: What the-?! I wasn't punching goats!

Yuki: Oh, right. Bears.

Kyo: I wasn't doing that either!

(Tohru walks in with breakfast…)

Tohru: Oh, Yuki, you're back! Kagura? I like your new look! (looks at Kyo momentarily) It's a good thing I made a lot! Dig in everyone!

Kagura: Thank you-(clears her throat and speaks higher to mock Tohru) Um, well, thank you!

Tohru: Oh, you're welcome! … (stares at her food)

Yuki: Is something wrong, Miss Honda?

Tohru: Oh-uh-no, I'm sorry! I-I just-I uh…I forgot to make my bed this morning and it just came to mind. I should probably go fix it.

Shigure: I don't really think that's an urgent issue.

Tohru: Oh, well, I'll forget about it for now then…

Yuki: Are you sure that's all that's bothering you?

Tohru: Um, yes.

Kyo: No, it isn't. You're still upset, aren't you?

Tohru: Of course not! I told you I wasn't-

Kyo: It's clear that you are so stop saying you're not! Quit bottling your emotions!

Yuki: You're one to talk about bottling emotions.

Kyo: Shut up!

Shigure: Tohru, if you're upset, you can tell us. We might be able to help you feel better.

Yuki: Shigure's right.

Kagura: I'll help too!

Tohru: Well, I…

Kyo: During the burglary yesterday-

Kaura: BURGLARY?! (wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes him tight) My poor sweet Kyo! You were robbed?! Why didn't you tell me?! They didn't steal your love for me, did they?!

Kyo: Get off, ya crazy woman! I never had that in the first place!

Kagura: How could you say something so mean to me!? (begins running out the door) I'm running away and don't you dare come after me!

Kyo: (eats some of a rice ball) Is this a cod rice ball? Awesome! It tastes great!

Tohru: Really?! Thank you! I made it just for you.

Yuki: This leek rice ball is pretty tasty.

Tohru: Yeah, I thought you'd think so!

Shigure: Gross!

Yuki: Don't knock it until you've tried it, Shigure.

Shigure: No thanks. I'll just knock it. Off my plate.

Kyo: Anyway, what was I saying?

Yuki: Um…

Tohru: I know it had something to do with me. You're always thinking of me, Kyo-

Kyo: I think about other stuff! You're not the most important thing on my mind!

Tohru: Oh…that was kind of hurtful…

Kyo: Wait, I didn't mean that!

Yuki: (sighs) Foolish.

Shigure: Just thinking about that leek rice ball is upsetting my stomach.

Yuki: That was it! You were talking about what upset Miss Honda.

Kyo: Oh yeah! Yesterday-

(Kagura runs back in and starts punching Kyo)

Kagura: You were supposed to come after me!

Kyo: You said not to!

Tohru: Kagura, please! Enough!

(A little later after Kagura has calmed down and Kyo tells of the thief and Tohru's mom's photo…)

Shigure: That's what you're upset about? Just a moment.

(Shigure leaves and returns with a picture frame)

Shigure: Here you are!

Tohru: Oh wow! Mom's picture will fit right in here! Thanks, Shigure!

Shigure: No problem. You should've told me last night. I could've given it to you then.

(The sound of rain pouring comes from outside…)

Kagura: It's raining now…Looks like I'll have to stay here until the weather clears!

Kyo: I don't think so! Here! Take my umbrella! (hands her his umbrella then three more) And Yuki's! And Shigure's! And Tohru's too! Take 'em all! You need a raincoat?!

Shigure: You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like, Kagura.

Kagura: (drops the umbrellas and hugs Kyo) YAY!

Kyo: NOOOO!

Shigure: Tohru, it doesn't bother you to see Kagura hugging Kyo like that?

Tohru: It kind of does, but-

Kagura: (gasps) I'm sorry! I won't do it anymore! At least not while you're in the room! I promise! But if you really love Kyo then you could forgive his one-time flings! That's what I'd do!

Shigure: I don't think one-time fling would be the correct terminology for Kyo and Tohru.

Tohru: Kagura, it's okay. I know you still like Kyo and I can't stop you from feeling the way you do about him. Just, you know, don't cross the friend line.

Kagura: The…friend line?

Tohru: Don't do anything a friend wouldn't do with him.

Kagura: … (looks at Yuki)

Yuki: Uh…yes, Kagura?

Kagura: … (looks at Tohru)

Tohru: Did I say something wrong?

Kagura: … (looks at Kyo)

Kyo: Why are you being so weird?

Tohru: Kyo?

Kyo: What?

Tohru: Kyo…I-…I'm sorry. I was acting so grim and- (tearfully) I really wasn't mad at you though-I wasn't-I-…I was just scared I'd lose mom again… It'd be like…she was dying a second time…

Kyo: (slight gasp) Tohru…

Tohru: I know it's silly and stupid, but I-

Yuki: It's not silly. You were very close to your mother and you love her deeply with all your heart. It's easy to understand why you were so down.

Kyo: I don't think what you said was stupid at all. Just like that damn rat said, you were close to her. You loved her. I knew that already. That's how I knew you were upset. And it upset me to see you upset so… Whatever! Look, you don't have to cry yourself silly all by yourself! Let someone comfort you. Let me comfort you. I won't let you be sad and alone. And if I ever see you like this again I'm gonna be really pissed at you!

Tohru: (blushes) Kyo…

Yuki: Miss Honda…I'm here for you too. I'll always be. Okay? (smiles at her)

Kyo: Stop flirting with my girlfriend!

Yuki: I'm not flirting.

Kyo: Yes, you are!

Yuki: I only told her that she could rely on me and my word means a lot more than yours anyhow.

Kyo: What?!

Tohru: Thank you both! And Kyo?

Kyo: What is it?

Tohru: Let me tell you a secret…

(Tohru leans in toward Kyo and shields their mouths as she gives him a kiss…)

Kyo: (blushes and transforms) Oh man…

Tohru: (giggles and picks Kyo up) Don't tell anyone, okay?

Shigure: Um, guys? What just happened?

(Tohru and Kyo turn to see Shigure, Yuki, and Kagura staring at them…)

Tohru: Oh, right…

Kagura: I want to hear the secret! Tell me! Please Tohru! I want to know!

Tohru: Umm…

Kyo: You know, I don't mind if you tell her. But just her.

Yuki: You sick stupid cat.

Kyo: What?! You don't even know the secret so shut up, ya damn rat!

Yuki: It was obvious what happened. She got so close to you and then you get so flustered you transform?

Kyo: I-I don't know what you're talkin' about!

Shigure: (chuckles) I see…

Kagura: I don't understand! Someone tell me!

Kyo: Why don't you just go home?!

Kagura: (intimidatingly) Say that again…

Shigure: You do know it's easier for Kagura to hurt you as a cat, right?

Kyo: Uh, I didn't say nuthin'…

Kagura: Hm! You know what? It doesn't even matter! Cause I have a boyfriend that isn't Kyo!

(Everyone looks at her with a shocked expression…)

Yuki: Really? Who is it?

Kagura: You, of course!

Tohru/Kyo/Shigure: What?!

Yuki: Huh?!


	4. The Double Date

Tohru: This is wonderful! Maybe we can double date!

Kyo: I'd rather die.

Tohru: But Kyo-

Yuki: You know…that actually might not be a bad idea.

Kagura: You think-"Um, oh, really?"

Yuki: I'm going to need you to stop mimicking Miss Honda now.

Tohru: Mimicking me? What do you mean?

Kagura: I have no idea!

Kyo: You want to do this?

Shigure: Does this mean you truly are dating Kagura?

Yuki: Do you find it strange?

Shigure: Yes. Very.

Kagura: I know this all seems sudden, but Yuki's had a crush on me ever since we were kids.

Tohru: Wow, I didn't know that.

Yuki: (grunts) …

Kagura: He even proposed to me once, but I had already told Kyo I'd marry him. He was really let down by that and so he decided to keep his distance from me. I decided I'd give him a chance though. I'm sure he hasn't told you this either. This is mostly why he fights with Kyo so much.

Kyo: That doesn't sound right.

Kagura: Well, it is! He told me so! Didn't you, Yuki-I mean-my love?

Yuki: (glares downward at the floor) …

Shigure: Is this true, Yuki? Because if so then I guess what I heard about you two could be true as well! Would you like to hear what I've heard?

Yuki: No. Keep it to yourself.

Shigure: I heard that Yuki has already bought you a little something for your finger!

(Yuki's eyes widen as Kagura jumps in excitement)

Kagura: Tell me it's true, Yuki! Tell me you've got the ring! Show it to me!

Yuki: (gives a small aggravated smile) Don't you think…we're a little too young-

Kagura: No one's ever too young for love! And you love me, don't you?! Be honest with me! I'm begging you! I love you so much my heart's about to burst out of my chest so-…! Yuki: …

Kagura: (slams an off-guard Yuki into the floor) You'd just let my heart explode?!

Yuki: ! Ah…Kagura…

Kagura: Yes, darling!?

Yuki: (pulls Kagura close and speaks to her calmly into her ear) We're not really together… So take it easy, alright?

Kagura: Oh, I know. I only slammed you into the floor. And I wouldn't have done it if you would've just been more outspoken about our love. If you think about it you're really the one at fault.

Yuki: (sighs) Whatever…

Tohru: So when's the wedding?

Yuki: A date hasn't been decided.

Kagura: Yet.

Tohru: I really want to go on that double date. Can we please, Kyo!?

Kyo: Wha-…(looks at Yuki)

Yuki: Are you going to disappoint Tohru?

Kyo: ...Fine. We'll go.

Tohru: Thank you so much, Kyo! Where are we going?

Yuki: I know the perfect place.

Shigure: (watches them exit then picks up the phone) I can't resist…

Yuki took us to a nice looking restaurant not too far away from the main house. It seems really expensive. I don't know if I can afford something like this…

(Yuki sits closest to the window in the booth across from Tohru who sits next to Kyo who is across from Kagura…)

Yuki: Is there something wrong Miss Honda?

Tohru: This place just seems really expensive is all.

Yuki: Don't worry. I actually know one of the new guys in charge of this place. Everything we order is half off. Except for Kyo. Everything's full price for you.

Kyo: Wha-!? (stands) I'm leaving then!

Tohru: Wait, Kyo!

Ayame: Lucky Kyo, please don't leave so soon! You've yet to see the wonders of this fine establishment!

Kyo: What the hell is HE doing here!?

Yuki: He co-owns this place now.

Kagura: Is that true, Ayame?

Tohru: That's amazing! I mean, if it's true.

Ayame: It is. I'll tell you how it happened. (sits down bumping Kyo over) Thank you for the seat.

Kyo: I didn't offer you a seat! Move! (pushes Ayame off the seat)

Ayame: Yuki, you're really going to let him be so rude to your stunning, talented, and ultimately amazing older brother?

Yuki: Go away.

Ayame: What?! Well, that's rather unkind of you to say. After I was going to regale you with the tale of how I became a co-owner at this exquisite diner.

Tohru: I'd like to hear-

Kyo: (covers her mouth) We don't want to hear it!

Ayame: It's a shame your word means nothing. Now, it all started last weekend when a friend of mine looked at me with eyes bright as a furnace and said, "Aya, I want you to be the co-owner of my new business! Your intellect and great people skills will help out a humongous deal!" Now you all know how shy, but selfless I am so I declined at first, but in the end I accepted their offer! But on one condition! My little brother has to be able to get half-off everything on the menu! Just because I'm such a wonderful brother I had to prove it to anyone who might think otherwise!

Yuki: That's not what happened.

Ayame: You're right. Let m e tell you the real story. I was travelling with Shigure and Hatori in the woods when suddenly it got so cold I transformed! Searching for heat I found a warm body and clung to it for all my life and it just happened to be Shigure! He provided me with much warmth and-

Yuki: I'm uncomfortable with this story and it has nothing to do with how you got involved in a co-ownership.

Ayame: I was getting there!

Yuki: Go away PLEASE.

Ayame: No, I'll tell you the story! It's not as long as you think!

Yuki: We're busy!

Ayame: Hm? (looks at all of them) Do my eyes deceive me or is my little Yuki on a double date!? I always knew you and the sweet sweet Tohru would end up together!

Tohru: What, no! Me and Yuki aren't-

Yuki: You really think it's such a bad assumption?

Tohru: (slight gasp; looks at Yuki…) Um…I-(looks at Kyo who is seemingly glaring at her) Uh-w-well-I-I don't really-I-well, I think you're really nice Yuki, but I'm with Kyo! (nervous giggle) Yeah, Kyo! Kyo! I'm with him!

Kagura: Actually, I'm the one dating Yuki! (hugs Yuki's arm) We're in love! Isn't that right, Kyo-I mean, Yuki?

Yuki: …

Ayame: Hmm…I never would've imagined this pairing. Oh well! I guess you were just moving too slow and another boy snatched the girl of your dreams away! That's what happens! Now you've got to deal with…second best…

Kagura: What'd you call me?!

Ayame: Whoops! I think I hear the phone ringing in my office! Gotta go! Enjoy your visit! (runs off)

Yuki: (sighs) He sure knows how to make me regret something…

(A girl in a small maid's uniform walks over…)

Waitress: May I take your order?

(Yuki and Kyo blush…)

Kagura: That uniform's a little tight, isn't it?

Waitress: I don't think so. (drops her pen) Oops! (bends over to pick the pen up and her striped panties become visible)

Kyo: Ah! (looks away when Tohru looks at him)

Yuki: (stares) She-…Um, miss, your dress-

Kagura: DON'T YOU LOOK AT ANOTHER WOMAN WHEN I'M SITTING NEXT TO YOU! (attempts to punch Yuki)

Yuki: (catches Kagura's punch) Calm down! I was just looking at how small her uniform is.

Kagura: I don't want to hear it! (punches and Yuki catches it again) You're a formidable opponent.

Tohru: Wow, Kyo. You can't stop Kagura, can you?

Kyo: That's cause I don't try! Besides, she's crazy! And Yuki's nuts too challenging her like this! Crazy people like Kagura don't even need training!

Yuki: That's enough, Kagura.

Kagura: (tackles Yuki out of the booth knocking the waitress over) You may be formidable, but not enough to escape my love! I'll kill you for trying to two-time me!

Tohru: Watch out!

Kyo: Wait, so are you mad or are you excited?

Kagura: BOTH! (trying to hit Yuki, but he's pushing her head away to keep her at a distance)

Tohru: (pulls Kagura away from Yuki) Stop fighting, you two!

Yuki: I wasn't fighting her. (puts a hand out for the waitress and smiles) I'm sorry, miss. Please forgive us.

Waitress: (takes his hand) It's okay..

Kagura: (pushes Yuki) Since you love her so much then go to her! Leave me behind!

(Yuki falls onto the waitress making her fall again and he of course transforms…)

Tohru: (quickly grabs the rat and Yuki's clothes and laughs awkwardly in front of the audience that had just came to be…) I dropped my clothes when I accidently bumped into this lady! Oops! Uh-oh! I'm so clumsy!

Kyo: (to Kagura) You need to be more careful!

Kagura: I-…I'm sorry, Kyo. I was just so mad… Why is Yuki acting like he doesn't care about my feelings? Why? (bangs a fist on the table) Tell me why, dammit!

Kyo: I don't know!

Tohru: Why don't you guys go ahead and order? We'll be right back.

[The Women's Restroom]

(Yuki is putting on his clothes in a stall…)

Yuki: Did we really have to come in here?

Tohru: Well, I couldn't go in the Men's restroom. Sorry.

Yuki: It's fine. No one's in here to see. Tell me, Miss Honda. Do you truly think you and that cat could have a meaningful relationship?

Tohru: Why would you ask that?

Yuki: It's just…I feel like you deserve way more than he could ever give you. And I… (grabs her hand as he looks into her eyes) I could give you all your heart desires…

Tohru: (gasps)

I can't believe this. Yuki does like me too. What am I supposed to do?

Yuki: You know, he's only with you to get at me. He knew I wanted you and so he tried his luck. He did it in front of everyone for a reason.

Tohru: That can't be true.

Yuki: You know how bad he wants to beat me. At everything. He's nothing, but a stupid cat who always wishes to achieve the impossible. To be a part of the zodiac…to beat me…to be more than what he is. It's foolish. You should be able to see that.

Tohru: …Shouldn't you try to strive for the impossible? Or I don't really remember the saying, but…it's natural to want more. I think he should be happy with the way things are now, but I can understand some of his feelings. You understand that, don't you? You even said you wanted to be a little like Kyo…

Yuki: Yes…but do you see how foolish he is to not recognize the little he does have?

Tohru: The same goes for you.

Yuki: (slight gasp) Me?

Tohru: There's a plum on all of the Sohma's backs!

Yuki: …A…plum?

Tohru: Didn't I tell you about the rice balls?

Yuki: Rice…balls?

Tohru: Uhh…oh, I guess that was Kyo. You're special in your own way, Yuki. Like Kyo is and Shigure and all the other Sohma's. You all have something great about you. Other people see it clear as day, but you ignore it due to the fact you're too busy focusing on the traits you don't have that you see in the others around you.

Yuki: Is that so?

Tohru: Yes! But I can see your greatness! You're an enticing person, Yuki. I mean that from the bottom of my heart!

Yuki: Miss Honda…I think you're enticing too. You have many desirable qualities. That's why…I want you to be happy. And I want to be the one to make you happy.

Tohru: (blushes) Yuki…th-this is wrong! I-I can't be here alone with you talking like this! We've got to go before Kyo and Kagura start to question where we are or even worse-a girl walks in here!

Yuki: Alright. But…I want you to ask Kyo why he likes you and see what he says. I bet he won't have an answer. (walks out)

Tohru: … (looks down) What do I do, mom?

[At the booth]

(Hatsuharu and Momiji sit in the booth as if waiting for Tohru and Yuki's returns…)

Haru: Hello, Tohru. Yuki.

Momiji: Tohru! I'm so glad you're here! This is just like that day you were out with Kagura at the pizza place! Except now, Kyo and Yuki are here!

Tohru: That's true…

Yuki: What are you two doing here?

Kyo: Seriously. Go away.

Haru: If you must know; I am here for a multitude of reasons. One. I hear you're on a date with Kagura. I don't approve of this. 2. Kagura must now give me a fair fight since she caught me off guard at the pizza place. 3. I believe me and Kyo have a fight scheduled. I had planned on challenging you yesterday, but I got tired after dinner so I just went to the main house to rest.

Kyo: That's your fault. And too bad cause I wanted a fight yesterday. I'm not really in the mood now.

Haru: You can't decline a scheduled match.

Kyo: It's not scheduled cause you didn't tell me anything about it!

Haru: I have the date circled on my calendar.

Kyo: So?! I don't care!

Momiji: I heard he was coming this way and that Tohru was gonna be here so I decided to come too!

Yuki: Look guys, now isn't the time.

Haru: I disagree. Kagura, you can leave now. I'll contact you later for our fight. I'll be taking your place as Yuki's date.

Yuki: No, you won't!

Haru: Well, someone has to. You can't go out with Kagura. I'd rather you cradle rob and date Kisa. I know. Switch dates with Kyo. He's already used to Kagura.

Kyo: No way in Hell that's happening!

Haru: We're not in Hell. Switch with Yuki or feel my wrath.

Kyo: Bring it on!

Kagura: Oh Kyo! I knew you'd stick up for me! Unlike someone… (glares at Yuki)

Ayame: (stands at a distance and waves) Hey, Yuki! (speaks to the guy next to him) That's my younger brother! He looks up to me so much! (laughs)

Yuki: Are you sure we're not in Hell? I'm starting to feel like I am…

Tohru: Maybe we should just go home…I'll cook something for us all at the house.

Yuki: Good idea.

Kyo: Yeah, let's leave.

Momiji: I want to eat Tohru's cooking!

Kyo: Too bad! You're not coming!

Momiji: Awww!

[Shigure's House]

Momiji: YAAAAYYYYY! (begins eating off the plate in front of him) It's delicious, Tohru!

Tohru: Thanks, Momiji! I'm glad you like it!

Kyo: Why'd you let him come?!

Haru: The food is good.

Kyo: Him too?!

Shigure: Oh, I-uh…I didn't know you'd be back so soon! I thought I smelt cooking, but I didn't hear anyone trying to destroy my house so I figured at least Kyo wasn't here.

Kyo: You are begging me to hurt you!

Shigure: (chuckles) Well, I-

Woman's Voice: Shigure! Where'd you go?!

Shigure: Uh, I'm coming! Wait for me upstairs, okay!?

Woman's Voice: Okay! I'll be waiting for you…

(All eyes are on Shigure…)

Yuki: Do I even want to know?

Kyo: I'd guess not.

Momiji: Who is that lady? Huh, Shigure? Who is it?

Shigure: Just a friend! Don't you worry about her! Tohru, can you wrap mine up for later?

Tohru: Sure.

Yuki: She shouldn't get any.

Shigure: You're so mean, Yuki!

Woman's Voice: Shigure!

Shigure: I'm coming! (walks away)

Haru: What am I supposed to make of that?

Momiji: It's just his friend, he said.

Haru: But was he being honest?

Tohru: He can't do anything with her…can he? Is Shigure still cursed? What if he's not? But why wouldn't he tell you guys? I don't understand-

Yuki: You're probably over-thinking things.

Kyo: Who was it though? It didn't sound like Mii.

(There is silence…)

Tohru: Um, anyway! So, let's talk about school. What's been going on in your classes?

Kagura: No…Yuki…Tell me the truth. You'd prefer Tohru over me, wouldn't you?

Tohru: What the-?! Don't ask him that!

Yuki: You already know the answer to that. Of course I do.

Kagura: YOU PUNK!

(Kagura begins to attack Yuki while he defends and evades…)

Haru: So…they're not really dating, are they?

Tohru: Huh?

Kyo: I didn't think so.

Tohru: Really?

Kyo: It's obvious.

Haru: You know…he probably did this to try and make Tohru jealous.

Tohru: You-..you think he'd do that?

Haru: I'm pretty sure he likes you. And as much as it normally pains me to see Yuki with some awkward girl….I wouldn't mind if he was with you.

Tohru: You think I'm awkward?

Haru: You're focusing on the wrong part.

Tohru: Oh…

Haru: Shigure called for nothing then...

Tohru: Shigure called you?

(Kyo begins to look down when Momiji comes into view…)

Momiji: Are you okay, Kyo?

Kyo: Yeah. (looks away as Kagura and Yuki stop fighting…)

Momiji: (grabs Kyo's hand) Tohru's already dating Kyo! So Yuki missed out! Sorry, but that's just the way it is! Tohru, you're happy with Kyo, aren't you?

Kyo: Momiji-

Tohru: Yes, I'm really happy.

Kyo: You are? I mean good then.

Momiji: And Kyo, you're happy with Tohru and want to keep her happy too, right?

Kyo: …Yeah. That's right. That's what I want more than anything.

Momiji: (smiles and puts Kyo's hand on top of Tohru's) So you two should be together! And Yuki, you should be fine with their relationship. As long as Tohru's happy, you should be happy too! That's the way it works! Cause why would you want them to be apart and be unhappy? What kind of person would you be then if that's what you preferred?

Yuki: (gasps) …Momiji…I-…I still won't accept this! Miss Honda should be with me! (leaves the room)

Tohru: Wow…I had no idea I made Yuki feel this way…

Haru: Not that I want you two to break up too… I just feel bad for Yuki. He finally finds someone he can open up to and he can't be with them.

Kagura: Yeah…and Kyo's never had that problem cause I've always been there for him.

Kyo: Shut up! Get out!

Kagura: Not yet, Kyo!

Kyo: Thanks for trying to help, Momiji. And I thought you were just an annoying little runt.

Momiji: Hey!

Tohru: Wait a second…Kagura stayed here because of the rain. But if we decided we'd go out it obviously wasn't raining anymore or for that long really so Kagura could've left.

Kyo: Yeah, that's right!

Kagura: Shigure said I could stay as long as I wanted.

Kyo: Ugh!

Tohru: Well, what now? Oh, I know! Let's play a game!

We played a few games until late when Haru, Momiji, and even Kagura left. Though I'm petty sure she'll be back. Yuki hadn't come back out. Was he really that upset? I wanted to go check on him, but Kyo asked me to come up to the roof with him. I thought to ask Kyo why he likes me...but it was such a romantic sky full of stars with a bright moon and I-…I didn't want to say anything that might ruin it. Though there is the possibility that he'd give a good answer. That's the one I was wishing for on every star that night… Tomorrow. That's when I'd ask.


End file.
